No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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