she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize