i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
