Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We left the knife in your bed.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
