Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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