I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
