Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
