If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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