you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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