Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
