margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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