I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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