just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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