Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
