3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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