I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
