But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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