love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
