This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
