Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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