Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
