I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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