I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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