Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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