I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
