glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
