woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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