why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Rumble strips road head = magical
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
