I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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