I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
