I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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