You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
