i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
