addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
