I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
