Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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