Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
