I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
