Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
We just shotgunned beers for America
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
third nipple confirmed
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
