So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
