Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
