Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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