i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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