Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
