Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
