she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
