Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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