You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
the liver wants what the liver wants
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
