My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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