You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
